Things I've Learned: Playing Dead Rising
Thu, 03/11/2010 - 03:06 by Paranormal Rob
Life lessons for surviving the zombie apocalypse.
- A helicopter can support at least 50 people. Helicopters were invented by scientists to make gravity their bitch!
- Most humans can withstand an average of 100 bullets before going down. If someone is pointing a pistol at you, don't worry. They don't have enough bullets to kill you.
- Orange juice and apple pie can heal all wounds including bullet wounds, knife wounds, lacerations from being bitten, and sprained ankles from falling over 16 feet. Screw the first aid kit! Just raid the fridge.
- A wrecked car will grow back. No matter how bad a car is ruined it will always regenerate. It's one of the benefits of going green.
- Wearing a dress makes you more of a badass. After confronting a fully grown man in a dress wielding a katana in one hand and a sub machine gun in the other, zombies don't seem so bad.
- Good photography skills are important. What could be cooler than having a photo of a zombie lunging at you as the profile pic on your facebook page?
- Blenders can produce their own drink containers. Coffee creamer + apple pie + orange juice = plastic thermos. Also some serious stomach cramps.
- Everything is a weapon! Bats, shopping carts, coat hangers, teddy bears, soccer balls, CDs, and nail guns. It is the way of the ninja!